Today, my wife felt the first flutters of our new baby “it”. And while she was excited about the new sensations, like every father, I was stuck on the outside, unable to really know how what its like. So I began to think of ways to further share in this amazing part of the pregnancy.
I feel there are two ways to experience the pregnancy along with your partner – through a form of labour and by interacting directly with the baby in the hope of triggering a flutter, kick, etc.
Labour-Based Experience
Now, I’m sure you’ve heard of the artificial baby-belly that men can wear that mimics the weight and size (and pains) of being pregnant. While this can certainly be a labour-intensive task for some fathers, this is not quite what I’m referring to. Below are some projects and labour-based experiences that will help you feel not so out of it. Otherwise you just end up living your normal life while your wife gets to experience some amazing things with the growing baby.
Build A Nursery. If you’re at all handy, or have some handy friends/relatives that are free for a large chunk of time, and you already have a dedicated room/space, set aside several weeks and design, build, and furnish a nursery. Not only is this a great space to have, it also gives you the opportunity to contribute something of use to your new baby. Sure she’s carrying the baby, but you freakin’ built a whole room for it! Bonus marks for building the furniture by hand (and I don’t mean from Ikea).
Write A Guide Book For Your Child. This is the kind of project that can take years to complete, but can be extremely rewarding. Fathers throughout history have always tried to pass on their wisdom to their children. Books like Life’s Little Instruction Book and Rules For My Unborn Son are inspired by this tradition. So set aside time now and start your own volume of maxims that you can pass on to your child.
Start A Project With Your Other Child. If you have another child, chances are they are gradually starting to feel less special as the pregnancy goes on and more attention is placed on the baby-to-be. Now is a great opportunity to spend some quality time with your older child by starting a new project or hobby together. Start them in a new sport or activity (like dance or martial arts) and be their biggest supporter, by attending practises and competitions. Or ask them to help you on a bigger project like the nursery. They can use their creative juices to help you design the furniture or pick our a paint colour for the walls.
Interactive Experience
This is all about getting some stomach time. Your wife has no choice but to be there too, so whatever interaction you decide to have may want to involve her too.
Play Music or Sing. I don’t mean put a record on or set up the karaoke machine, but actually pick up an instrument and play it for your baby. If you don’t already know how to play something like the guitar or piano (the instruments least likely to anger the mother – my drumming doesn’t always go over so well), you’ve got nine months to learn it! While it’s not true for every baby out there, by about week 14 or 15, your child can start to ear things and may respond to you playing and singing (well, hopefully) with some well-timed movements.
Read Aloud. Another way to have your baby respond to sound is to read aloud from your favourite book. To keep your partner engaged, try reading from a play where you each read a different role. In nine months, you can easily get through the entire Shakespeare folio and possibly produce your own little thespian (or literary genius). The idea is to get your baby used to your voice. By the time it’s big enough for your wife to feel its kicks, it may even kick on queue when it hears your voice. How cool is that!
Stomach Rub. My wife is never opposed to this one. Engaging in some good old tummy rubbing is a great way to be right there when your baby starts being active. If you make this a daily ritual, who knows, the baby might start to recognize your rubbing versus your partner’s. Or, maybe I’m full of it; but it would be great to be there for the first kicks (fingers crossed).
Nine months can be as long or as short as you want it. While you can certainly just do one of these things and be extremely satisfied, my advice is to try to engage in all six of these activities over the course of the pregnancy. Not only will you pick up a few new skills and have something to show for it, you’ll also be much closer to your unborn child than if you changed nothing about your current day-to-day routine.
Posted by Neil 
